Wedding Dictated By Heart

Wedding dictated by heart

Photos: Shiyi Wu
Words: Rachel MacFarlane

The best wedding is the one that feels right to you and represents your love. Forget what your friends, your aunts and uncles, celebrities or whoever else think it should be. Every decision you make, make it in your heart. If you do, you won’t ever regret it. You should, of course, care about your guests, but too many people try too hard to please everyone. It’s an impossible task and more often than not makes this special day more stressful than successful.

There’s always pressure to get married. Your family, friends and coworkers all seem to have an opinion on when, and how. The only person who can truly know the answers to those questions is you. Otherwise you risk committing to something not right for you, and in my opinion it’s a risk not worth taking. If we truly want to have an everlasting and permanent marriage, we need to take our time and listen to our hearts. This philosophy should also apply to what form your wedding takes.

Weddings are complex. They join two families together for an event much longer than a feast. They intertwine communities, and begin new families. They’re beautiful moments with a lot of new beginnings. Take for example, the matrimony of a Chinese and Polish couple. Both cultures prize large, conservative weddings and have their own specific traditions. The bride and groom will feel responsible to please every guest and be the ultimate hosts.

But is there a way to please everyone attending the wedding? Why shouldn’t the newlyweds find unique and special way to celebrate their cultures and love. They can curate what aspects they love most about both cultural traditions. A wedding then becomes a hybrid of the personal histories of both partners. It doesn’t just reflect where one is coming from but where one is going.

Wash away expectations. Forget about how your peers had their weddings, there is no obligation. Instead, focus on asking yourself what best represents you and your partner. If that’s getting married on a beach and taking guests on sailing adventures around Sicilian cliffs, go for it! If that’s having a large banquet hall reception in an English castle after a church wedding, start to plan! Regardless, make your wedding match your desires and resist pressure from outside.

When you make decisions based on your heart your actions will reflect who you are. When the wedding matches what matters most to the couple it makes solid memories for everyone.

Your guests won’t care if you didn’t choose what they thought was best. Instead, you’ll charm them with a wedding that represents your relationship seamlessly. You will create a beautiful foundation to the most significant relationship of your life.